Mother’s Day and Birthdays have always been a little quicksand-y for me.
They invite a kind of introspective, wishful thinking that gets painful quickly. Wishing things were different, better, slower, not so fleeting, not so riddled with regrets.
Anytime there’s an occasion or a holiday the Ego perks up. Ohhh a chance to dwell on time! A chance to compare!
We have to keep a close eye on ourselves during these instances and pull ourselves out of the wormhole before we go too far in.
I used to anticipate in a way that caused negative, self fulfilling prophecies. Because I was anticipating anxiously, from my Wound. I was predicting the future based on the past. When we do this, we project an outcome for ourselves that’s the opposite of what we actually want.
But the habit of predicting can feel protective and right, in a strange way. It’s a form of unconscious control. At least we know what to expect. Nothing will catch us off guard and punch us in the heart.
There is another way to anticipate though. We can come from our Souls, from fierce love.
When we do this, over time, we find we’ve grown so attuned to our own blindspots that they’re no longer hazardous. We can go into tricky situations knowing ahead of time: This is probably going to be hard. I might get triggered. I’m going in with a plan, prepared to exercise a boundary, call for back up or beat a hasty retreat.
Through the soulful work of healing, we come to know ourselves. We come to know who we are and what we need. And we find ways to show up for ourselves that are wise and loving. We learn to parent ourselves. We talk ourselves down from freak outs and we talk ourselves up from moments of doubt. We hold ourselves sacredly. Even if the people who were supposed to never did.
It is never too late to discover your magic. Never too late to learn how to use it.
Wishing all of you the space to be young and fun and tend to your own dreams.
Lots of love,